Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
