i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
