I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to calm my uterus...
did i just pee glitter
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
