I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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