he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
