i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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