I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
