i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
