I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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