True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
