this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Randomize
