hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize