I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
