He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
