just tell him i said nine months
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
