I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
