i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize