omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
