sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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