This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
