I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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