So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
