Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
