Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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