Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
