I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
