I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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