the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize