Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
