ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
