But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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