he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
