$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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