you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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