I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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