I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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