i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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