Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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