get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
