Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
