Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
