So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
