it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
