i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
