U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
