I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize