Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
