and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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