FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize