found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
