I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
