I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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