Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
tell me about the eggs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
