saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
