just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
