Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
