can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize