But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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