the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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