So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
