You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
