All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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