Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
