What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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