she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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