'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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