when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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