Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
