Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
