Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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