the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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