Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
